Letter to a Dreamer in the Woods

Dear unknown friend,

You whose dream we share to live a life in the wilderness, stiffened in the embrace of Mother Nature, I miss your presence.

It feels like it’s been an eternity since we hadn’t had a talk where our minds go weary from the challenges genuine deep thinking has on the all too constrained nature of our brain machinations. How many conversations have ended by you and I just sitting in that comforting silence we so dearly yearn for, a silence stemming from a sweet tiredness, a peculiarity of a mind which had been engaged in a deep osmosis of exchange. Many are the times when that silence led us to contemplate from our veranda the tall trees in the horizons, inhaling the intense scent of damp forest floors and pine trees, with a touch of yesterday’s chimney smoke. What’s more, I’m writing you this letter to know where I’ll be heading and why in case you wanted to unite.

Obviously I won’t have the chance to tell you what I’ve been up to in these last 23 years of existence in a letter I hope I’ll be keeping short. We’ll get plenty of time to talk about that in our reunion. The urge of reaching out to you has been growing stronger by the day since as long as I can remember. And regardless of the existential amnesia we all have, I never forgot your presence of yesteryear within me.

Not two months from now, came to me the inspiration to write “the Power of Reaching Out,” an article of mine which bears the print of personal struggles of being alienated from the “group” and constantly misunderstood, as well as the effect of such predicament on the development of our neuroses such as anxiety disorders, depression and obsessive compulsive behavior. Alas, I did not release it, nor will I probably, as I am not accustomed to the autobiographical expression in my usual endeavor of writing due to psychological constraints which seem linked to this character’s earthly existence.

Regardless of me not sharing it, it made me realize –along with the therapeutic benefits of narrating that which ails us– that reaching out to a friend (or friends for that matter) can be a literal life saver, an object of alleviating the obscure nature of a never-resting mind… As it can be the thing which drags us further in a bottomless sea of loneliness and alienation from all that lived and lives in us. The thing is, whether or not it will be preferable –that is conducive to greater mental health– for us to reach out to the all too worrying heart of a friend or partner or even family member, is only up to us. For if common sense has not lost its way in this mad world, an attentive, somewhat sensitive and a friend of an understanding nature might be the ideal “candidate” to hear the complaints of the nature of our psychological dis-ease.

Indeed, as reflected many philosophers that “life is a battlefield;” one has to approach such a situation, with a strategy, a plan, in order to predict and minimize the unpredictable nature of our complex mental-emotional state (and as you know the complexity proportionately rises with highly sensitive and self-conscious people).

This is when we know whether we are in company of genuine or disingenuous people. “Choose your friends carefully” said no one ever; and in part, this is why we live in an epoch of fake authenticity, an epoch where almost everyone pretends to know and understand the ails and struggles of his fellow companion only through the bias of presumptions and a jammed lens of perception, an epoch where it is regarded acceptable — nay, preferable — to drown our individuality and creative genius in the shallow waters of group identities, possessing ideologies, and the materialism of an over-emphasized collectivism.

But forgive me as my digressions grow in number, for my passion for such subjects, as you may know, could never be extinguished.

Though it may be useful to assert that one must look carefully for which rose to pick in a garden full of plastic decorations, in order to avoid future disappointments; evidently it is no secret that not all people deserve our time, attention and care, and that is exactly why we ought not to settle for less than we deserve. As this image may communicate stains of moral bourgeoisie, it can come in handy to know that we have the moral responsibility to be with the “suitable” people for us.

Ultimately, it seems like finding genuine companionship in such times, is indeed a daunting task. Nevertheless, it is achievable, and the good news is that everyone could attract genuine companionship. It only suffices that he who yearns for companionship acts out his truth, that is, his authentic nature.

I find it fascinating that there is much that we know, yet believe that we do not, for we have been, long ago, quenching our universal innate intelligence: our intuition. For example, it may be universally known that we can attract the people we desire to be with only through the power of our action and intention. I won’t label this as the “law of attraction,” as abstract concepts, in my opinion, tends to lose a considerable part of their meaning thus truth with labeling and putting them in boxes.

If you want an accessible soul, be open to the world. If you want a creative mind, express your inner virtuoso. If you want a warm, reaching hand under the storms of the everyday, wander away in the open airs — however stormy it may be — could be the ultimate wing flapping of the butterfly of destiny, for there is always a stray, kindred soul who awaits... This reminds me of our story of old.

Express your truth, and then the world will answer.

Even if I’ve been told those exact same words a year from now, the receptacle would be particularly skeptical to it, as it has not matured enough to see what it needs to see. This is why “I” don’t (even as a receptacle) usually play — if ever — the role of the prick whose I-told-you-so-s will be all what one can hear when he realizes that the wisdom of speaking his very truth is no gobbledygook.

Now to why, a year from now, “I” might have been skeptical of words like “express your truth, the world will answer;” long story short, I was deep in my neuroses, which at some point, was my personal hell. It now sounds like a bad dream. I’ve learned a lot since then. And I’m thankful for all the trials and tribulations. Now as an extremely stubborn human being, I stand humbled by the says and hints of my inner-guidance (which at more than one occasion, converged with your advices of old) that pointed out “one cannot shoulder all,” and if so, he stands at the peril of being corrupt, or more accurately crushed by a boulder of all that is destructive to a life where peace of mind and sanity stand on the pinnacle of the individual’s value system.

By knowing that one cannot lift alone all the drama that falls upon him, one is humbled, and opens himself to the richness of experience in a fellow companion. But we still have to find that genuine companionship, the real thing, often demonstrated in fiction or fantasy. To that, I say, as a once-upon-a-time nihilist in my 23 years of existence and now as an advocate to the pursuit of a meaningful life, never lose hope to speak the truth which remains dormant in you, and with it, can unfold huge potential to satiate your craving for human connection.

What’s more, the push and pull from our need to be understood contrasting to the need to hide ourselves in order to avoid being hurt by others is not a feeling which can be revealed for its own sake, or for any sense it has for its aesthetic of bittersweet drama. All around us, we are constantly shown that no one can openly talk about such matters, at the risk of being judged with the righteousness of the all too condemning eye. Worst yet, we have been led to believe by the façade of the mainstream herd mentalities that it is safe for us to be vulnerable, to show weakness. We have been told — even implicitly so — that we are not alone in our sorrow and alienation… Until we open up, strip our heart open, show our true colors, only to then be smacked in the face so hard that we would forget why we chose to reveal ourselves in the first place. “I couldn’t be more stupid!” you may whisper to yourself once, as your anger turns to remorse. And in part, this is one of the reasons why I’m writing all this to you, just so you know that you are not alone.

After being repeatedly felt like an alien, living in our log cabin in the woods, chopping my own timber to warm my place with the crackling fires of our chimney, feels like my personal utopia, a utopia where it is not as far-fetched as my usual words of wishful thinking, a utopia where you and I could be reunited.

In the mean time, while you are away, I can write, read books, I’ll have my internet connection too (so I won’t be like a complete outsider), I’ll learn to paint abstract arts maybe. I’ll have one dog and a cat, and perhaps I’ll be obtaining a shotgun, and a laisser-passer to hunt a deer from time to time. Most of all I’ll have the company of Mother Nature and the quiet it provides.

But I ask myself, if in my fantasy, living completely alone detached of human connection will be feasible to me for long. I still wonder. But I prefer not to delude myself, as I probably can’t live stripped of the warmth of you.

With this letter coming to an end, written under the urge of letting you know what I’ll be up to with an overall unsure-ness surrounding my thoughts to how I must enclose it, I hope that I’ll be seeing you very soon. And in case you have some things to attend to which I know you will, as well as I know you will probably tarry along the way to our heaven, here is what I wanted to tell you: be ever-so-picky when it comes to friends, be tireless in the hopes of finding your ideal human connection, and to speak the truth of your being forwards because everything that comes with that is conducive to the coming-out of your authenticity from the depths of your being; but know too, that at the end of the day, a glow within you can be found within me. It is our responsibility to rise to the occasion to express that glow, in order to receive it from others; and it is with that same glow that you’ll be able to find me, wherever I might be hiding.

Farewell, unknown friend.

-A friend.